been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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