from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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