just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
