That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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