I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
