I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
