Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
