I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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