I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
