Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
