the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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