Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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