I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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