Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
