so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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