god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
