I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
