I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
