btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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