he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
