I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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