you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
