honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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