I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
