Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
