is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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