So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
