I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
