I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
whose parrot is this?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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