People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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