Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
