you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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