Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
