You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Two words: nipple clamps
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