i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
