it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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