a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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