i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
