That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
