see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
