I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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