i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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