whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
