But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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