Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
