One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
