Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
