hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
