i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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