Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The power of my boobs compel you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
