Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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