Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
