btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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