I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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