I feel like abortions should bother me more
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
